Next Step 1 - Talk Created Equal

Your Next Step

The best navigation system will be of little value if not used. It is up to you to take the next step—to make the conversation actually happen. Here are some final tips to get you on your way!

Conversation Starters

The best way to start any conversation is with questions. Choose an open-ended question; that way you don’t get a simple “Yes” or “No.” Here are some of our favorites:

What do you think about abortion?
What do you think about human equality?
Who should get human rights?
When does human life begin?
When does parenting begin?

What to Do

Ask questions

Questions are a powerful tool. In addition to starting conversations, questions can…

Demonstrate interest.

Questions show people you’re interested in them and their ideas. This is important for establishing the tone of a conversation instead of a sermon.

Clarify ideas

Many ideas are purposefully left vague in the abortion debate. Questions help to clarify these. For example, if someone says “I’m pro-choice,” ask: “What do you mean by choice? The choice to do what?”

Expose assumptions

If someone says, “My body, my choice,” ask: “Whose body are you talking about? Are you suggesting a fetus is part of her mother?” This is an assumption they’ve assumed which needs to be supported.

Turn slogans into conversations

If someone says, “If you don’t like abortion, don’t have one,” ask: “Would you say that about other evils? For example, ‘Don’t like slavery? Don’t own one?’”

Share stories

Stories are another powerful tool. They can…

Make ideas compelling

For example, if someone says the mother’s circumstances justify abortion, don’t just say, “But parents shouldn’t kill their children.” Instead, tell a story like that of Tashina Jordan. Then say, “We can agree Tashina faced hard circumstances. And we can agree she needed help. But shouldn’t we also agree it was wrong, even in her hard situation, to kill her child?”

Humanize you

Also, when appropriate, tell stories from your own experiences. In addition to giving context, this can remind others of your humanity. People who oppose abortion are often demonized. Talking about your experience reminds them you’re not a two-dimensional cutout.

Use photos

The fastest and most effective way to reach someone is with photographic evidence of abortion. This also allows victims of abortion to testify visually.

Download pictures from our gallery. Order handouts from our store.

Be humble

Admit when you don’t know the answer. Tell them you’ll look into it and get back with them. Check out our Questions About Abortion. If it’s not there, contact us and we’ll help you.

Acknowledge when they make good points. The goal in conversations is to find what is true, not to prove a narrative.

Narrate the conversation

Many today have forgotten how conversations work. Step back occasionally to narrate for both of you what has taken place so far. This will help maintain focus.

For example, if you find yourself suddenly spending great energy discussing capital punishment, pause and say, “Okay. When we started, you said you supported abortion. I asked why that is, but you avoided my question and started talking about capital punishment. Let’s get back on track. Why do you support killing preborn babies?”

What Not to Do

Guess their position

No matter how well or little you know someone, their position on abortion might surprise you. Don’t start with, “Why are you pro-choice or pro-life?” Let them speak for themselves.

Rest on labels

The label someone uses (“pro-life” or “pro-choice”) matters far less than what they actually think about preborn babies and abortion.

If someone says, “I’m pro-life,” don’t just say, “That’s great!” Instead, press further. Ask: “So, do you think abortion is wrong in every situation?”

Assume you’re on the same page

Even if you’re navigating properly, it won’t help if you get to the right destination but leave the other person behind. After making a point, ask for feedback: “Do you agree? What do you think?”

Let the conversation go on forever

It’s important to know how to start conversations. And, we have to know when and how to end them, too.

If you’re going in circles, find a way to summarize the conversation and give a final challenge.

For example, if you find the other person saying, "Let's just agree to disagree," consider this response from writer Stephanie Gray Connors:

Actually, let’s agree that we disagree. Let’s agree that our disagreement is a problem. Let’s agree that if I’m wrong, I’m spreading lies; if I’m wrong, I’m denying women’s rights. However, let’s agree that if you’re wrong, you’re permitting a grave injustice; if you’re wrong, you’re permitting the killing of people. So let’s agree that we’ll both continue to examine the issue and search for the truth. And truth, as Leo Tolstoy said, "is obtained like gold, not by letting it grow bigger, but by washing off from it everything that isn’t gold."

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How do you answer … ?

Learn answers to specific questions about abortion.

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Find out why we do what we do.

Watch Real Conversations

Listen to our team talk to people about abortion.