Your Conversation Navigator

This guide will help you navigate conversation with pointers of what to say and how to say it. But it is up to you to work it into a natural dialogue.

Conversations require at least two people. That means you have two different stories, possibly two different worldviews, and plenty of opportunities for confusion. But meaningful dialogue is still possible. Our team creates it every day, and so can you.

Click through the navigator below. Then hit “continue” to start the conversation.

Know the Case

To be effective, dialogue must be well-informed. Prepare by committing to memory these three lines clarifying why abortion is wrong:

  1. It is wrong to intentionally kill innocent human beings.
  2. Elective abortion intentionally kills innocent human beings.
  3. Therefore, elective abortion is wrong.

Sometimes pro-life people get sidetracked from why abortion is wrong, instead focusing on related issues, such as how abortion affects mothers. Jay Watts provides a helpful reminder: There is a difference between why abortion is wrong and what’s wrong with abortion. There are many things that are wrong with elective abortion—such as how it affects family members—but there is one objective reason abortion is wrong: It intentionally kills innocent humans.

Bring Photos

Good navigation requires good tools. The most effective means of calling others to action is with pictures of the victims you want to help. Share these images with the youth’s parents first to make sure you’re on the same page.

In your mentor meeting with the youth, say, “You and I might have a lot to say about abortion, but this isn’t our story. It’s really about the actual people killed by abortion. They can’t speak, but they can tell their stories visually. I’d like to show them to you.”

download pictures from our gallery. Order handouts from our store.

Ask, “Have you seen pictures of Jewish Holocaust victims or people brutalized by American human slavery? If so, why not also look at pictures of innocent people being killed today?”

Read more about the importance of abortion victim photos in our online questions.

Find Common Ground

To find out where to take the conversation, suggest the youth join you in pro-life outreach. How they respond will guide your mentorship through this topic.

Say, “You and I agree abortion is wrong. I have an idea of what we can do about it. I’d like to start an outreach group to change how people think and feel about abortion, so that even while it’s legal, fewer parents will kill their children. Would you like to be part of this?”

then their pro-life convictions need to be strengthened before moving forward.

then you need to mentor them through the topic of morality before moving forward.

Point to Truth

Now that you know where to focus your mentorship, chart a course pointing toward truth.

Walk them through the pro-life case. Click each line below to see support for the claim.

Say, “You and I already agree on this point. That’s why we both oppose killing toddlers.”

Say, “A preborn baby is no less a human than a toddler. And abortion purposefully kills her. Here’s how we know.”

Ask: “Is the embryo growing?” They will likely say, “Yes.” (If not, show them pictures of the embryo’s growth.) 

Then say, “Dead things don’t grow. So, since the embryo is growing, she must be alive.”

Next, ask: “Are her parents human? If so, wouldn’t it make sense that whom they create would belong to the same species?”

For more on this, check out our Questions about Abortion.

Say, “Remember the pictures we looked at earlier of abortion victims? Would you agree those babies were killed?”

Continue, “Do you know what happens in an abortion? With pill abortions, the baby is starved and suffocated before being flushed down the toilet. In surgical abortions, she is decapitated, dismembered, disemboweled, and discarded. Would you agree this is purposeful killing?”

Say, “Now, some people say because embryos are different from toddlers, they don’t really count as one of us, don’t have human rights, or are not persons.”

Continue, “But there are only four differences between toddlers and embryos, and none of them justify killing: Size, Level of development, Environment, Degree of dependency (remember the acronym SLED – See Scott Klusendorf, The Case for Life).  Click each category below to explore with your child.

Say, “Preborn babies are a lot smaller than you. They start out about the size of a grain of sand! But being small isn’t a bad thing, is it? And it’s not the baby’s fault she’s so small.”

Then say, “It would be wrong for parents only to care for their tall kids and not their short ones, right? In the same way, if a mom is pregnant, it would also be wrong for her only to care for her bigger born kids and not her smaller preborn baby.”

Say, “There are a lot of things you can do that preborn babies can’t.” Make a list together. Examples: walking, talking, playing games, reading, and so on.

Next say, “But kids your age also can’t do things that someone 16 years old can do.” Again, make a list together: driving, getting a job, etc.

Then say, “What if a dad had a 16-year-old son and another kid your age? Imagine the dad only cared for the teenager but not the kid your age. That would be wrong, wouldn’t it? Especially because the kid your age needs more care than the teenager. In the same way, if a mom is pregnant, she should care not only for kids your age but also her preborn baby.”

Say, “Babies have a very special place to live: inside their mothers. And parents should take care of their kids no matter where they are.”

Say, “Imagine a mom had a kid your age at home and a teenager who goes to school. During the day, they’re in different places. What if the mom only cared for the teenager who goes to school but not the toddler at home? That would be wrong, wouldn’t it? Especially because the toddler needs more care than the teenager. In the same way, if a mom is pregnant, she should take care not only of her kid your age but also the younger one living inside her.”

Ask, “Do you need me? What do I do for you that you can’t do for yourself?” Make a list together. Examples: providing food, transportation, a home, etc.

Say, “Did you know preborn babies need their moms even more than you do? But that just means it’s even more important that their mothers take care of them.”

Say, “Imagine a dad had a newborn baby and a ten-year-old son. Both need him. What if he only took care of the ten-year-old and not the newborn? That would be wrong, wouldn’t it? In the same way, a pregnant mom who has other kids should care for all who need her—not just her older kids who need her less.”

Summarize: “We know it’s wrong to purposefully kill innocent humans. And we know that’s what abortion does. So abortion is wrong in the same way killing toddlers is wrong.”

Continue, “So we’re back to what we should do about it. If we would take action for toddlers being purposefully killed today, shouldn’t we do the same for younger children?”

For more on this, check out our Questions about Abortion.

Ask: “Is there anything you think is wrong for everyone to do? What about sex trafficking? Chattel slavery? Sexual assault?”

Make it personal. Ask, “What if someone were to steal your car, assault your friend, or beat your sibling? Would that actually be moral for them to do so?”

Say, “There’s a lot the Bible doesn’t specifically mention—like lynching people who have a certain skin color. Yet we still know that these acts are wrong because of what we do read in the Bible.”

Continue, “The Bible is clear that all humans are made in God’s image. That includes everyone regardless of skin color, age, etc. We also know that it is wrong to purposefully kill innocent humans. Clearly, then, lynching born humans and aborting preborn babies are both wrong according to the Bible, even though neither is specifically mentioned in it.”

Say, “Disagreement doesn’t mean there’s no truth. There used to be a lot of debate on whether the earth was flat. But that didn’t negate the truth that the earth is round.”

Clarify preference claims and moral claims.

Say, “There’s a difference between what you prefer and what is morally right. If I say, ‘Coca-Cola is better than Pepsi,’ I’m making a claim about what I prefer. But if I say, ‘It is wrong to beat a newborn,’ I’m making a claim about morality.”

Continue, “It would be wrong to force our preference claims on others—like making everyone drink Coca-Cola. But it is right to expect others to follow principles of what is objectively moral. We should require them not to beat their kids, have sex slaves, and so on.”

Follow Their Ideas

Sometimes you will have to take a detour. Even if they see merit in your ideas, they might have adopted ideas from their cultural setting which need to be explored before they can agree that abortion is wrong and demands action.

So, follow their thinking for a bit to show where it would lead. As they present arguments or slogans they’ve heard, discuss the logical conclusions of their ideas. Here are some examples:

Ask, “What kind of a world would it create if no one judged actions as right and wrong? The result would be anarchy. Is that the kind of society you really think we should be building?”

Continue, “The law legislates right and wrong behavior. Do you think Christians should not be involved in the process of legislating what is right and wrong? What kind of a world would that create, if we only allowed non-Christians to write the law?”

Finally, point them to Matthew 7:1-5. Many people cite Jesus saying, "Judge not, that you be not judged" without considering the context. He goes on to say that we should judge ourselves first. It is not judgment that is condemned here but hypocritical judgment.

Say, “Let’s explore that idea. Imagine we knew a mother living in poverty who couldn’t handle caring for her newborn anymore. What if we knew she were planning to kill her newborn? If we kept quiet, allowing her to kill the child, would that be loving toward the mother?”

Continue, “Is it really loving someone to allow them to plan and execute a crime? What kind of world would it create if we made that our principle for all immoral behavior, not just abortion?”

Say, “You’re right. You can have a pro-life worldview while living inconsistently with it. But do you think it’s a good thing to live inconsistently with our moral principles?”

Continue, “Imagine we went back to the days of human slavery in America. Let’s say we knew two people who both opposed slavery. One was an underground railroad conductor, actively bringing slaves to freedom. The other opposed slavery in his mind but took no action to oppose it. Are these morally equivalent? If not, which one should we try to follow?” 

Watch Out for Pitfalls

There are some common obstacles on the path of meaningful conversations. Watch out for these.

This is an attack on people rather than their ideas (an ad hominem logical fallacy). Even if it were true, it would be irrelevant to the question of whether we should engage in pro-life efforts.

Say, “What if I introduced you to pro-life activists who are not mean? Would that change your mind?”

tell them about Created Equal. Show them our videos.

respond, “Then it seems the issue isn’t really whether pro-life activists are mean. There’s another reason you don’t want to do pro-life outreach. Can you explain?”

Say, “I agree that we don’t want to equate any issue with the Gospel.”

Then say, “But consider what Jesus said in the Great Commission: ‘Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.’” (Mt 28:19-20a.)

Continue, “Among the commandments Christ gave was to care for neighbors in need. We’re supposed to teach others to observe this commandment. How can we do that if we ignore our preborn neighbors in desperate need?”

Add, “There are many biblical passages commanding us to help those in need (Lk 10:25-37). We follow these today by helping preborn babies. That’s not a distraction from the Gospel. It’s living out the truths of the Bible.”