Next Step 4 - Talk Created Equal

Your Next Step

The best navigation system will be of little value if not used. It is up to you to take the next step—to make the conversation actually happen. Here are some final tips to get you on your way.

Conversation Starters

When someone is considering abortion, it is vital that you communicate your concern for her. Consider the following lines to lead into dialogue.

You deserve better than abortion.
I care about you and our baby, and I want to help you both through this.
This might look impossible, but we are going to get through this.

What to Do

Emphasize your love and concern

It is very possible she is only considering abortion becuase she lacks support. Be clear that your concern is not only for the baby but also for her.

Say, “I love you. Abortion is a permanent decision that would kill our baby and harm you, as well. You both deserve better, and you are not alone. I will help you through this.”

Remain calm

It can be hard to keep emotions in check, especially when your baby’s life is on the line. But if you lose control, you could lose your opportunity to help the mother. That will not help her, and it certainly won’t help the baby.

Ask questions

Questions are a powerful tool. In addition to starting conversations, questions can…

Demonstrate interest.

Questions show her you care about her. Ask, “Why do you feel like abortion is the right choice?’

Clarify ideas

When ideas are vague, misunderstandings abound. Ask questions to clarify what she means. For example, if she says, “I just can’t do this,” say, “I can’t imagine how this feels from your perspective. Would you please help me understand?”

Expose assumptions

For example, if she says, “I can’t be a mother right now,” say, “I don’t know what it’s like to be in your shoes, but I do know that you are already a mother, and I am already a father. But now we’re at a crossroads. The question is whether we’ll be parents of a living or dead baby.”

Share stories

Stories are another powerful tool. They can…

Inspire with examples of others who chose not to kill their child

Share Daneshia’s story of changing her mind when she met Created Equal’s team.

Demonstrate the enduring impact abortion has on mothers

Share Lorinda’s story, in which she explains the challenging road to forgiveness after abortion.

Use photos

Before someone has an abortion, they should see what it is.

Download pictures from our gallery. Order handouts from our store.

What Not to Do

Guess their reasons for considering abortion

Every mother’s story is unique. That does not change whether abortion is permissible, but it does mean that if you want to really help her, you will need to listen and seek to understand why she personally is considering abortion.

Assume you’re on the same page

Even if you’re navigating properly, it won’t help if you get to the right destination but leave the other person behind. After making a point, ask for feedback: “Do you agree? What do you think?”

Drive her to the abortion facility

Many well-meaning fathers have agreed to drive their wives or girlfriends to the abortion facility after she refuses to accept their offered help. While some might think this is being helpful, it is wrong.

If you two had a toddler together, surely you would never drive her to a building where someone would kill that child. So why would you help her kill your preborn child?

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