Your Next Step

The best navigation system will be of little value if not used. It is up to you to take the next step—to make the conversation actually happen. Here are some final tips to get you on your way.

Conversation Starters

When someone shares with you that they had an abortion, start with a simple question: “How are you doing today?”

What to Do

It might be shocking to learn that someone you know had an abortion. But if you get carried away with your emotions, you might lose your opportunity to help this grieving parent.

Questions are a powerful tool. In addition to starting conversations, questions can…

Questions show the person you’re talking to that you care about her. This is important for establishing the tone of a conversation instead of a sermon.

When ideas are vague, misunderstandings abound. Ask questions to clarify what she means. For example, she might say, “Abortion was better for my baby.” Ask, “What do you mean? What about your life back then made this seem like the right choice?”

For example, she might say, “I know God has forgiven me, but I can’t forgive myself.” This may seem humble, but it actually assumes that the mother you’re talking to outranks God, since she is not accepting God’s declaration that she is forgiven.  

Say, “I’ve never been in your shoes. I don’t know what this feels like. But I do know God is the highest judge, and if you believe in Jesus, he’s declared you forgiven. Isn’t this true no matter how you feel?”

Stories are another powerful tool. They can inspire with examples of parents who found forgiveness through the work of Jesus Christ.

Share Andrea’s story of forgiveness.

As Andrea shares in the video above, pictures of abortion victims can play a powerful role in bringing healing and deeper understanding of forgiveness.

Download pictures from our gallery. Order handouts from our store. Have them ready and use when appropriate.

What Not to Do

No one is sinless before God. Read and meditate on 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. Focus on this line from Paul: “And that is what some of you were.” ( I Cor 6:11a.) The Christian Church is full of people who have sinned and yet found forgiveness through the finished work of Christ. If you are a Christian, that includes you. Keep this before your mind.

Even if you’re navigating properly, it won’t help if you get to the right destination but leave the other person behind. After making a point, ask for feedback: “Do you agree? What do you think?”

While abortion is always wrong, not every mother’s response to it will look the same. Ask her to share how she feels and what she thinks about abortion rather than assuming you know what is going on in her mind and heart. 

Then gently guide her to the truth that regardless of how one feels, moral wrong is wrong. And, most importantly, share the very good news of forgiveness through trust in Jesus.

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